Cake, Shakes and Consent!

Sometimes in my Loli community we will plan a really elaborate structured meet with an activity and sometimes we will just throw our hands up in the air, pick a place and admit we don’t know what we fancy doing. The latter is what we did back in March! We just met up in Manchester and winged it. The last time we did this was in Liverpool and we ended up going for really nice cupcakes at a shop I’ve never even been to before, despite having lived here for over 20 years…

Here’s what I wore, I felt so confident that day! Quirk levels up to absolute maximum!!

Beret: Accessorize
Blouse: Vintage Pop Boutique
Belt: Fred Perry Amy Winehouse collection
Blazer:United Colours of Benetton
Skirt: Metamorphose Secret Library
Shoes: Rocking Horse Shoes from ANTAINA 
I think I was also carrying my Alexander McQueen at the V&A premium tote bag that day too; didn’t go with the outfit at all but it’s the most useful and cool bag ever so I did not care even the tiniest bit. Later that day my favourite picture of me ever was taken at my friend Jayde’s flat; I think I look so long and lithe! You also see the lovely sheer fabric of the blouse.
We had quite a few photos of us taken that day while we were out and about and some of them were nice and some were found online at a later date and definitely not so nice. The thing about dressing in an alternative fashion is that it does command some attention, and I have always been happy to answer any questions and provide sass to any rudeness but I just think it would be really nice if people just had a bit of respect.
For example, this photo was taken without mine or Georgia’s (YouTube’s Kittykinnss) consent.
The user on Flickr has actually disallowed people from downloading this photo. Well mate, you take my photo without my consent and I’ll take yours without your consent. Oops, I’m just as bad… Apart from showing the colours of our outfits really well, this is a horrible photo of us that was posted online without either of our knowledge. We spotted the photographer lifting his camera up which is why we both look so perturbed. I can appreciate a good candid like anyone else, but frankly I think it’s really invasive to take pictures of people without asking them, or even asking them if you can use the pictures.
Saying that, most people are really interested and complimentary. When someone comes up and asks to take my picture I feel so, so flattered and when they start a conversation with me it feels great. I’ve made plenty of friends this way! That is one of the great things about wearing alternative fashions; by being out there you get to meet some incredibly interesting people and make friends that you never would have made otherwise.
This is really not my favourite photo of myself but it holds so many happy memories that I really don’t care. Another blogger, Ghostly Tom, spotted us having a look at craft supplies in Fred Aldous and we had a brilliant conversation about Harajuku and Grayson Perry so Georgia, Jayde and I were more than happy to pose for a photo for him. That’s how you do it!
In summary; if you see someone that you think is interesting and you want to take their picture, don’t be an asshat. You are talking to a human being who deserves respect and kindness! ASK! This is a rule one should follow in every day life and all sexual encounters; CONSENT IS QUEEN!
Important life lessons aside, we decided to go to Home Sweet Home in Manchester and have some delicious cake. I’ve said before that I am gluten intolerant, but I was super naughty and ordered one of their horrifically beautiful cake slices and a milkshake. I couldn’t even finish both of them. I felt terrible because I hate wasting food, but also incredibly resplendent because it was delicious and sweet.
The cakes are so gorgeous looking and we spent the rest of the day on a ridiculous sugar high. I have an awful sweet tooth and religiously visit Bon Bon Chocolate Café in Manchester whenever I can, but I would definitely come back here. The staff are lovely, the atmosphere is really pleasant and fun and the cakes are so delicious. I would definitely recommend it for a good time, but it’s very popular so you will definitely be in for at least a 10 minute wait if not more.

This is probably my favourite photograph that I took on the day. I really like how the focus is on the cute milkshake in the corner and the colours are so saturated. The closeness and saturated colours give me this Martin Parr vibe. It reminds of one of his famous photographs from beside the beach where the figure in the foreground, smiling into the camera, is blurred and instead the background is focused and crisp. The eye is forced away from the foreground and yet somehow travels back to the blurry, smiling figure in her large, square, white sunglasses and Hollywood wrapped headscarf. Photographs that force your eyes to or away from a particular point are incredibly interesting to me.

Above is the heaven sent flourless chocolate cake from Bon Bon Chocolate Café. I would do some bad, bad, evil things for a slice of this cake. Or, alternatively pay about £3.50. Either or.

We also had an impromptu “photoshoot” in a shop called Kuhl Vintage in Afflecks. Georgia spotted this really beautiful 50’s prom dress and naturally we forced her to try it on. I’ve been to Kuhl Vintage a couple of times and I think their selection is amazing. The items are really well maintained and the choice of items is very unique. Last time I went in there I nearly bought a taxidermy bird fascinator. It was a narrow escape.

This meet was so fun, and writing about it makes me realise just how much of a great day I had, especially since I remember it so clearly about a month later. That is the joy of photography too, that you can just whip yourself back to that moment in the pictures.

I hope you’re reading this and thinking about a photo that is very special to you.

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